Review
Jun 11, 2018
5 minute read
Adult Fruit Leather Fun
Jun 11, 2018
5 minute read
I finally tried a fruit leather that forced me to eat my dehydrated fruits and my words.
Were you one of those kids who tore through boxes of Fruit Roll Ups, guzzled entire rolls, and fought back tropical tie-dye slobber? If so, I was likely sitting on the opposite end of the playground silently judging you. Don’t take it personally, I’ve just never been one to salivate over gelatinous slabs of corn syrup and food coloring. That’s just me. Though maybe it’s also a texture thing, because the seedy, organic fruit leathers of Whole Foods and the like don’t really do it for me either. They sort of remind me of what happens to jam left in the fridge for too long, and there aren’t many things that get better with time in the fridge. Just saying.
“For the first time in my life, I wanted to tear open the package and stuff the whole leather in my mouth. ”
Recently, though, I tried a fruit leather that forced me to eat my dehydrated fruits and my words. It was Fruit Slabs’ Mango Maui Wowie fruit leather and it was fucking delicious. For the first time in my life, I wanted to tear open the package and stuff the whole leather in my mouth. In this case, however, that would’ve been disastrous because each Fruit Slab contains 100mg of THC.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Maui Wowie, in case you weren’t aware, is a classic sativa strain with fruity notes and energizing, uplifting effects. While I could taste an echo of the herb in the Fruit Slab, it actually complimented the slab’s tropical, mango-coconut flavor combo. In my humble opinion, this is edible crafting at its best. They didn’t diminish the plant by relying on a heavily processed, flavorless distillate; instead, they chose ingredients that worked to highlight the strain itself. Even the little piece that I had was bursting with flavor. According to Fruit Slabs’ website, each Mango Maui Wowie slab contains all-organic mango puree extract, coconut flakes, coconut flavor concentrate, and THC extract. That’s it. They also happen to be vegan, which is good news for anyone who can’t consume the majority of the 1,001 weedy baked goods currently on the market.
That said, the dosing issue is, well, an issue. I cut my slab into eight roughly identical squares and then cut one of those squares in half for an approximate dose of 6mg. To be clear, one whole Fruit Slab is not very big. One is about the size of an iPhone (a regular iPhone, not one that can’t decide whether it wants to be a phone or an iPad). After cutting it down to the right dose for me, I was left with a tiny sliver of fruit leather fitting for a brave mouse—or Matt Damon in Downsizing. If you can handle a whole 12.5mg worth of weed, or one eighth of the slab, then you’re rolling in postage stamp territory. In any case, if you’re not a heavy, medicinal user, just know you’ll have to nibble off a corner of your slab and then restrain yourself from eating more. Because, like I said, it’s fucking delicious.
Anyway, I ate my little sliver of the slab and went out for hipster Mexican food with my friend. I had a lingering headache from a cinco de drinko party I attended earlier in the day that’d been populated by 22-year-old trust fund kids. Whether I got the headache from drinking warm Coronas in the sun or listening to a young man manically insist he didn’t use coke to facilitate 4am workouts, we’ll never know. But I was hoping the Fruit Slab would set me straight and help me inhale a squash blossom taco platter.
“At an hour in, a soothing body high crept in with a strong side of the munchies.”
As it turns out, the high was just right. At an hour in, a soothing body high crept in with a strong side of the munchies. The headache slowly drifted to my mind’s periphery, allowing me to focus on the basket of chips in front of me. I felt relaxed but also upbeat and talkative. Everything—and I mean everything—had a funny quality to it that lent itself to creative thoughts. Whether those thoughts amounted to anything of value to anyone else didn't matter so much because the experience itself was so damn fun.
Still, it’s tough to say whether this product was perfect for me. While I enjoyed the high immensely, it was somewhat precarious to plan. Because these are gourmet, handcrafted edibles and not factory-assembled tablets, you can’t be 100% certain the cannabis extract has been uniformly mixed throughout the product. After repeat sessions, I definitely noticed the intensity of the high varied from sliver to sliver. On the bright side, one slab could last me a whole month if I didn’t care much about consistency. At $15 per slab, I might make that allowance.
I’d also be interested in trying one of their CBD slabs since my tolerance for the non-psychoactive compound is considerably higher than my tolerance for THC. While I think this product would be perfect for medicinal users, the dosing issue makes it a little dicey for low-dosers like myself. Hopefully, Fruit Slabs will come out with a 10mg version so everyone can comfortably partake in adult fruit leather fun.
Update: Fruit Slabs has since changed their product to have 10 individual servings instead of one giant slab.
