Self-Care Is Healthcare With This High
From a sweaty workout sesh to a creative sprint, this high made solo time all the more fun.
My most treasured self-care routines all involve escaping motherhood for an hour or two and getting profoundly stoned. Lately, I’ve been rotating between two distinct routines. The first is hotboxing my car and hitting the gym, where children are not allowed and I can sweat out the anxieties of modern womanhood in relative peace. The second is staying up late while the family sleeps, getting deeply stoned and making weird art about zodiac signs and tarot cards. I auditioned Yerba Buena’s White Cookies for episodes of both of my fave self-care activities and despite their wildly disparate vibes (hard pumping vs. quiet sketchbooking), White Cookies provided a high that bolstered both in valuable ways.
“Everything about White Cookies was a magnificent foil for losing oneself in an epic workout.”
Yerba Buena’s White Cookies is an indica-dominant hybrid, bred from perennial fave Girl Scout Cookies and a lesser-known strain called The White. This lineage informs the lack of telltale skunk in White Cookies’ perfume; parental strain The White is a hybrid cultivated to lack any distinct flavor or odor and though White Cookies does contain the barest hint of sweetness, it is nothing that will stink through your shorts or give you overwhelming weed breath. It’s not particularly sticky, and it has a stiff crumble that supersedes a grinder for small-to-medium bowls. The earthy, grassy exhale is very mild, and the smoke is comfortable enough for long, powerful hits. The cannabinoid profile is 27.45% THC and 0.06% CBD. One bowl smoked from my palm-sized personal pipe was enough to lower my eyelids, relax my shoulders, and put me in a perfectly detached mental zone for a powerful workout.
The onset built as I fell out of my car and headed for the front doors of Planet Fitness. By the time I posted up on a stationary bike, I was so absorbed by what was happening on my playlist I couldn't have cared less how hot my thighs burned. I pulled some type of low-key Lady Hulk fitness routine—stone-faced, crushing station after station, sweaty, blessed, and unbothered. My head was all-in on a curated musical journey, and my body was buzzing with a controlled fizz that balanced meditative stillness with the rhythmic pumping of iron. The inoffensive perfume that would not put me on blast the second I entered the locker room, the onset that relaxed me into physical euphoria, the 90-minute duration—everything about White Cookies was a magnificent foil for losing oneself in an epic workout.
“These are the patisserie cookies you buy for yourself as a special treat then eat alone.”
My next session with White Cookies was spent late in the evening, during another bout of stoner mom self-care. On this occasion, I smoked about the same amount (a dime-sized bowl) but in a bong. The flavor, the smoke, and the lingering perfume were just as mild as they had been when I was huffing them from a tiny glass pipe. And to my surprise, the onset played to my energy levels. Whereas the relaxation of gym day had been about calming physical tension, in the evening I simply melted into my couch. I spent the rest of the evening euphorically drawing koi fish and a ballet dancer with a glorious purple afro performing together in a kelp forest. Follow me on Instagram and see it for yourself. It is a goddamn delightful piece of art.
On both occasions, Yerba Buena’s White Cookies left a positive impression on me. It is precisely the type of strain I would suggest to those who are more introverted or creatively driven because I was perfectly happy to be lost in my own thoughts from start to finish. On that note, I would not advise forcing a social or chatty situation on this high. White Cookies gave my inner dialogue a joyful bent, a rose-colored outlook, and a placid place for good thoughts to flourish. Then it relaxed my body in a way that supported all the creative fireworks that it set off in my head. Why waste that on somebody else’s agenda?
Bottom line: these are the patisserie cookies you buy for yourself as a special treat then eat alone. These are not the party platter of frosted factory cookies you bring to a potluck backyard BBQ. Yerba Buena’s White Cookies are, in my opinion, best consumed when quiet, contemplative self-care is the objective.