Day 1: Wednesday

I woke up feeling groggy after staying up too late reading my co-volunteer’s queer YA romance novel. (If you haven’t heard of The Summer of Jordi Perez, check it out, y’all.) I made myself some honey-drenched, almond butter toast and sprinkled a half-scoop of Mondo (2.5mg) on top. Even though my experience the night before proved to be mellow and uplifting, I still wanted to proceed with caution lest I sink into a dull stupor by the mid-afternoon (which I tend to do anyway). I’d recommend anyone trying to ease into daytime microdosing to do the same. You’re better off experimenting when the stakes are low and you don’t have to worry about drooling in the middle of a meeting.

“I felt a jolt of creativity.”

Perhaps due to the fat in my almond butter or caffeine in my earl grey tea, the high seemed to kick in a little quicker this time. On the train ride to work—about an hour after eating my spiked toast—I felt a jolt of creativity. I’d been working on a personals ad to submit to a queer dating Instagram account aptly named Personals. I’d gotten stuck somewhere between advertising my satanic-femme vibes and requesting a babe with an apocalyptic sense of humor. Now, I felt emboldened to scratch that entire first draft and start over with my heart closer to my sleeve. By the time I got off the train, I’d written a softer, somewhat cringeworthy ad that felt just right. And it wasn't even 10am.

The high continued to build into the early afternoon, helping me write, edit, and answer an annoying mountain of emails with ease. I was even keeping up with Slack messages, y’all. This is a big deal for me since normally my ability to function plummets right around 3:15pm. As you can probably tell, an afternoon person I am not.

Day 2: Thursday

Uh oh. Like an incoming hurricane, I can feel PMS descending before I notice any real change in my personal weather pattern. When this happens, my back hurts enough that it can’t just be from pilates and I have this heightened urge to kill people when they cut me off in traffic. I woke up feeling like maybe I’d just be better off abandoning civilization and hitching it for some vast national park. Instead, I slathered a piece of toast with ricotta and grossly overpriced strawberries from Gelson’s and topped it off with about 2mg worth of Mondo.

Halfway through my train ride, I noticed my mood take a turn for the better. My murderous rage subsided and I didn’t even mind the guy who routinely serenades the Red Line with acoustic ‘90s rock covers. I skipped into work with my dog in tow. By the time my afternoon slump was scheduled to suck the life out of me, I skated right past its reach and went to a spin class instead. As for the PMS? Nice try, sweaty.

Day 3: Friday

I slept through my alarm this morning, and when I went to the kitchen to make tea, I was surprised to find an apple-pear pie sitting on the counter. Then it occurred to me. That’s right. I got classic stoned last night. The kind of stoned that makes you think it’s a good idea to start making lasagna and pie at 10pm on a weeknight. To my stoned mind’s credit, the pie made for a delicious breakfast. Props to the Mind Tricks toffee I ate and the Queer Eye guys for making me weep into a bowl of lasagna. What a night.

“When in doubt, put berries on it.”

As I was preparing a baby dash of Mondo to sprinkle onto my breakfast pie, it occurred to me that with the amount I’m using, it would probably pair well with just about anything. Its slightly sweet, coconut flavor brings dessert to mind, but I could just as easily sprinkle it on avocado toast and forget it was even there. I added a pile of strawberries to my slice because that’s what summertime means to me: When in doubt, put berries on it.

I will say that for those with high tolerances who need a full scoop or more to constitute a microdose, smoothies might be the best way to incorporate Mondo. Whereas I use it like salt and pepper, adding 5mg or more is akin to using parmesan or a protein supplement. So play with your food accordingly.

Day 4: Saturday

Fighting the urge to lounge in bed until noon is no joke. This particular morning, I didn’t have the option as I had a volunteer meeting on the books at the LGBT Center. Between trying to get dressed and be a good gay, I didn’t have time to eat breakfast before dashing off to my meeting. Luckily, our team leader had pupusas delivered when we got there. As much as I wanted to sprinkle magic weed dust on my lunch in front of all my fellow volunteers, I restrained myself.

The rest of my day was a flurry of errands and disco-themed pilates, so I didn’t have time for my microdose until the late afternoon. To counterbalance all the pie and toast I ate this week, I made myself a super Instagram-worthy, overnight oats and chia pudding parfait—with a heaping pile of blueberries, of course. I sprinkled a little more than the half-scoop I’d become accustomed to and waited for my frazzled mind to unwind.

The thing with microdosing is you have to be your own body’s expert.

I soon felt so relaxed, in fact, I thought it would be a bright idea to go see Hereditary, the Rosemary’s Baby of our generation—times 1,000. The theater was packed so my friends and I sat in the very front row, something I thought I could handle in my ultra-chill state. That lasted a total of ten minutes. By the end of the movie, I felt dizzy and slightly sick to my stomach. It was that disturbing. So while Mondo might be magic when it comes to crushing errands and emails, it will not save you from the terror that is Toni Collette realizing she has become her mother. Duly noted.

Final Verdict

Look, I didn’t start this microdosing experiment with any goals apart from wanting to see what I might have to gain. So far, I’ve learned it’s a tricky science and one that requires a lot of patience and listening. The thing with microdosing is you have to be your own body’s expert. Depending on how often you use cannabis, your body chemistry, and the effects you desire, your perfect microdose might be wildly different from someone else’s. Edibles can help you achieve the long, slow, and discreet high you need to get through a tedious day, but if total control is what you're after, vaping might be the way to go.

So you want to try microdosing for yourself. Great! While it’s good to know that finding your perfect dose will require ongoing recalibration, I’d say a good place to start for most people is about 2mg. To put that into perspective, that’s less than half of what many brands consider a microdose. It’s true with any edible experimentation and even more true for microdosing: Start low and go slow. And maybe avoid psychological thrillers with mommy issues if you ever want to sleep again. 

Photos by Kate Ryan.