These Vapes Helped Me Find Luxury In Everyday Life
Luxury is what you make of it, and these three vapes helped me infuse opulence into errands and snow days.
Ionic self identifies as a luxury brand, and as a woman who has been favorably compared to Mariah Carey more than a few times, I figured I was the perfect someone to investigate the legitimacy of this claim. I auditioned three of their oils—sometimes while wearing a classy faux fur—in order to truly determine how much lavishness I could pack into an ordinary week. Spoiler: the limit does not exist.
“Over the course of my week of Ionic luxury, I auditioned their Mendo Breath, Honey Banana, and Blue City Diesel concentrates.”
Ionic’s CO2 cannabis oils are produced in small batches, and their resulting highs are a testament to strain specificity. Over the course of my week of Ionic luxury, I auditioned their Mendo Breath, Honey Banana, and Blue City Diesel concentrates. Each delivered nuanced and at times luxurious highs while still maintaining the select benefits of each individual strain.
First up was Blue City Diesel, an indica-dominant hybrid with 83.76% THC and effects that relied on my mood and physical state. Indica-dominant strains typically produce more sedate highs for me, but I found this to be a rare balance of calm quiet and joyful excitement. On day one, I woke up with a vicious headache that’d kept me up most of the night. So, on minimal sleep with a body and mind that felt limp and useless, I took three deep lungfuls of Ionic’s Blue City Diesel. It had a flowery bouquet with tart grassy notes and tasted not totally unlike a mouthful of allergy-free springtime. This was a promising start.
I mainly felt the onset in my body—a buzzy, bubbly exuberance that jolted me from my limp insouciance. The head high proved to be a little more elusive. It was foggy, but the fog was more of a relief than an inconvenience. Within minutes, the fog parted, taking with it the 24-hour headache I’d been battling. As that swampy head high clarified, I created a dynamite self-care plan: first a massage, then a long, leisurely brunch, followed by an extended afternoon shower during which I would pretend to be in a fancy spa and not my tiny bathroom. The headache relief was a solid perk, but the crux of the high was more about creating and enjoying my own luxuries. Before I knew even one fact about the Ionic brand, their Blue City Diesel had me self-actualizing opulence. As the high waned, however, my headache came slithering back into my purview. The three or so hours of bliss departed without a trace. My only wish is that it’d left behind some of its healing prowess.
I performed the second round of testing late the next evening after a happy hour that left me feeling pretty wound up. I had no aches or pains or existential plights that needed servicing; I just needed to wind the fuck down. I took a few drags, called my BFF, and we gaily chatted for a little over an hour. I’d spent my daily energy allotment and then some, so the body high was significantly less effervescent but still fizzy and soothing. In this capacity, luxury manifested as kicking off my heels and gossiping over white wine spritzers and dark chocolate truffles. And it was luxurious indeed.
Next on deck was Ionic’s Honey Banana, a balanced hybrid of Strawberry Kush and Honey Boo Boo with a 62% THC and 0.2% CBD cannabinoid profile. When in its floral state, I understand the buds tend to have a strong banana aroma, but as a concentrate, all I got was the nondescript sweetness of “fruit.” Which is not to say it was unpleasant, because it had a truly agreeable exhale. The vapor had a velvety mouthfeel that was like a comfort food version of cannabis oil—not heavy per se, but familiar and welcome.
“It began with a lucid, creative fire and a body high that was dancey and vibrant.”
Day one with this vape was a snowy day, and my family and I were essentially housebound. I am always the first in a group to catch cabin fever, so I snuck into the far corner of the basement and took three healthy drags of this oil. I set my pen vape to its lowest heat setting, and the resulting vapor was smooth and rich. The high came on equally in mind and body, and my first impulse was to sit at my piano and bang out some jams. But the high didn’t plateau at the piano; in fact, it continued to develop in fascinating ways. It began with a lucid, creative fire and a body high that was dancey and vibrant. After an hour of grinding on my bench playing Frank Ocean songs, the head high changed its shape and became calm and introspective. That, combined with the still bubbly body high, led me to bop around the house see-sawing between small chores and larger projects while deep in existential thought. As it ebbed, I settled into a long shower, which was just as luxurious as its Blue City Diesel sister vape.
When round two happened later in the evening, the high was an altogether different experience. I readied myself with a sketchbook, a dancey playlist, and The Office on mute. I anticipated the same introspective, energetic, creative high I’d gotten first thing in the morning, but this high was decidedly better suited for ending the day on a stoned note. I put my sketchbook down as I was too stoned to focus. I turned my playlist off as I was too couch-locked to Dougie. I turned the volume up on The Office and indulged in a mean case of the munchies, because I was too blazed for anything else. The high carried me off to bed on a vape cloud of groovy vibes, and I drifted off feeling overwhelmingly positive. If the vapor tasted like a mouthful of raw banana, it’d definitely have a forever spot on my all-time best-of-cannabis list.
I rounded out the week with Ionic’s Mendo Breath, an indica-forward hybrid of OG Kush Breath and Mendo Montage with 74% THC. Though suggested for nighttime use, I wanted a well-rounded frame of reference. So I hit that pen first thing in the morning. The dominant flavor was a romanticly crisp pine, but it also carried a softly sweet undertone. It tickled my nose like wasabi, waking up my sinuses before relaxing them back down into my face. The high was precisely what I’d expect from an assertive indica; I was chilled all the way out, and my body felt as loose as an overused rubber band. Had I woken up with a bad attitude, this would have cleared it right up. Since I was pretty relaxed at the outset, this high just served to enhance my blissed-out countenance for a few hours. The high lingered but never really developed past its elevated mood/relaxed body intention. It evaporated by mid-afternoon but left a smudge of droopy leisure in my heavy eyelids and sloped shoulders.
“From morning to night, the high was tranquil and responsive.”
When I tried this product at night, however, the high was surprisingly more complex. It kicked off with the same relaxed head and body effects, but without the tasks of the day to distract me, I was able to focus on and more acutely feel the effects. I rode that breezy high from classic dazed stoner, to syrupy creativity, to giggly distraction, then back to flowing creativity before we came to rest at a dreamy ping pong between sleep and wakefulness. From morning to night, the high was tranquil and responsive, displaying all of the best giggly relaxation and soothing body feels of the two parent strains.
My week with Ionic concluded with a new appreciation for the term luxury. Creating a spa shower in my tiny bungalow bathroom, tickling the keys of my electric piano as if it was a baby grand, lazily cruising between appointments and errands as if I had all the time in the world—these are luxuries I constructed with the support of Ionic. These are everyday actions that became the definition of opulence after three puffs from an Ionic CO2 cartridge. Luxury may be Mariah Carey cooking a brick oven pizza in a pink silk negligee, or it may be a champagne fountain in a private jet packed with male model flight attendants. More than anything, though, luxury is what you make of it. And Ionic seems really eager to help you find your luxury, whatever it may be.