Leif Goods is headquartered in Portland, which is pretty well known for its homogeneity, so it’s easy to understand, if not forgive, this misnomer. And while it does detract from the overall experience, the experience is nonetheless a good one. During my initial rating session, I searched for the smoky chipotle notes and the bold twang of cinnamon the bar promised but found something so faintly peppery it would only titillate those for whom black pepper can be “too much.” This is a delicious piece of high-quality dark chocolate that I’m thrilled to be eating, and there is a rich complexity of deeply woody and bittersweet flavors, but it’s not the culturally significant one described on the package.

Turns out, cultural interpretations of New Mexican chocolate had nothing to do with how the 5mg of THC hit me—a sudden wallop. The high arrived like the first drop in a roller coaster; my heart plummeted and I had to steady myself on the kitchen counter like it was the safety bar. The voluminous onset quickly burned off into something both cushy and crystallized, and within no time at all I became an expertly toasted crème brûlée. Eating luxury chocolate and getting luxury stoned makes me want to do luxurious things to myself, so I set up my bathroom for a steam-room shower. Middle class goals pro tip: the right combination of steam heat and cannabis can make a 20-minute long shower feel like a spa weekend. As the parent of a toddler, I will take these precious moments of escapism any way I can get them.

The shower primed me for an almost meditative rest of my day. Each activity was swaddled in a calming warmth that didn’t diminish my cognition. It was somehow both soothing and clarifying. Everything was awash with the glow of the weekend, even though I was firmly mired in weekday duties. Products that can transform day-to-day routines from mundane to extraordinary are always worth noting, even if they say they’re spicy when they’re actually mild.

“The body buzz made a simple shower feel opulently therapeutic. ”

Leif Goods uses full-extract cannabis oil, which, unlike CO2, distillate, BHO, and PHO processes, maintains a full spectrum of cannabinoids. We’re talking about the prized entourage effect here, people. The harmonious synergy of THC, CBD, and terpenes. And it was in full effect in this chocolate bar. Even the borderline aggressive onset was a workable thrill. The head high lifted my mood and cleared my mind, which in turn supported the kind of real relaxation you can only get with a quieted brain. The body buzz made a simple shower feel opulently therapeutic. The combination resulted in an elevated leisure that never felt stoney in the colloquial sense—only opulent in the Mariah Carey sense.

One bar of Leif Goods' New Mexican Chocolate contains 10 servings of posh, high quality, full-extract chocolate, each containing 5mg worth of THC. I achieved a perfect level of serenity with one square and was able to stretch out those placid effects with a few puffs from a sativa CO2 extract vape. And who cares if some, ahem, people thought this mild ass chocolate was spicy. It’s still sexy as hell and twice as delicious. But in the future, I might just melt it into my own pot of homemade champurrado and call it a good day.