These Grandma Candies May Just Turn You On
Nostalgic vibes and sensual body highs are alright by me.
Because my grandmother is an American treasure with a loose understanding of why everyone in the family has Type 2 diabetes, there are no fewer than five cut glass bowls filled to the brim with candy in her home at any given time. Butterscotch candies are a fave, as are butter mints and peppermints, and there are always a few of those strawberry jams with the red foil and the green twisty tops thrown in for good measure. But in my humble opinion, nothing tops the candy dish full of root beer barrels. I'll put one of those bad boys on my tongue and an hour later I'm still sucking on the same knot of candy—I love it. That American classic (root beer candy, not my grandmother) is a hallmark of childhood that spans generations. Actually that does describe my grandmother pretty well, too, but it's the classic barrel candy and not my grandma that Lunchbox Alchemy synthesized for their Root Beer Shrapnel, and I love them both.
“The results were, in a word, impressive.”
Lunchbox Alchemy's Shrapnel Candies aren’t the most reliable when it comes to precise dosing because there are no uniform pieces. Luckily for this rating, I received two roughly identical candy shards (more like squares since there were no sharp or jagged edges) each about twice the size of my thumbnail. One fit in the valley of my tongue as comfortably as the barrel it was modeled after, and if my weed math is correct, it contained approximately 5mg of THC. I ate these one at a time over the course of two days and the results were, in a word, impressive.
I recognized the aroma immediately. Wafts of synthetic grape, sassafras, and vanilla let me know I was about to be transported back to a time when root beer barrels were always within arm’s reach. Nostalgia for a privileged suburban childhood is a great way to kick off an edible adventure, and it put me in a wistful mood that bracketed the entire high. These uplifting, nostalgic vibes kept me buoyant without becoming too giggly or daffy. The onset was a rush that splashed against my chest like a bucket of lukewarm water—suddenly I was just wet with it. I literally had to shake my whole body like a soaked dog to bring the world back into focus, which was weird because I was in the middle of a supermarket at the time.
“I felt an increased sense of awareness, intuition, and focus.”
Once I'd knocked the initial fog loose, the head high became clear and bright. I felt an increased sense of awareness, intuition, and focus, and I was able to attack my day in successful, satisfying ways. The body high was brilliantly responsive; my body felt elastic but there was no impetus to coordinate a bunch of movement about it. It felt like a well of physical comfort I could draw upon at will whether my energy was potential or kinetic.
The fluid body high added a certain sensuality to the experience; at the mere suggestion of sexuality or intimacy, my thighs clenched. I think there is enormous potential for this to be an A1 sexy time edible, but I was associating it with my grandmother way too hard to enjoy those benefits. But that's between me, root beer candies, and my grandma, so your personal peccadillos may vary. If this flavor similarly plucks at your childhood heartstrings too hard to develop into something sexy, please note that Lunchbox Alchemy has four other flavors: Blue Raspberry, Watermelon, Green Apple, and Grape.
Lunchbox Alchemy's Shrapnel Candies are made from shattered sheets of melted and cooled rock candy, and the resulting product is a grab bag of various dosages of cannabis less than or equal to 5mg of THC. As the market floods with unique cannabis products, Lunchbox Alchemy's Shrapnel is unique in that it allows the user to deliberately craft their own high. That said, I've had mixed feelings about this delivery method because, for one, it can make for some really inconsistent dosing (as I’ve discussed in a previous review). And while I respect math, I’m not a fan of weed math—AKA the math you have to do to get appropriately high. On this encounter with Alchemy’s Shrapnel, however, I can say with complete conviction the experience was worth briefly reenacting the confused math lady meme.