Almonds For World Peace
The next time everyday life sends me into an irritable spiral, I'm reaching for these almonds.
In a market full of edibles designed for maximum stoniness, Satori’s CBD-Rich Salted Caramel Almonds are a blissful reprieve. And yes, this Satori confection provides some semblance of stoniness, but it’s the complex cognitive agility that this sweet bite provided that has me so excited. There are an incalculable number of edibles on the shelves of our local dispensaries that will get us stoned to the bone, but Satori’s CBD-rich almonds are for a smaller percentage of users, users who require something more mature than a blissful psychoactive experience. I mean, being stoned to the bone is super fun and all, but have those products ever helped you dominate a creative project with laser focus, crystalized clarity, and almost supernatural intuition and responsiveness? Because, honey, the entourage effect is real and Satori is out here improving my creative function and cognitive clarity three chocolate-covered almonds at a time.
“This is a mature, nuanced take on the chocolate-covered-nut genre of candy.”
The quality of Satori’s chocolate is superb. A rich, silky, perfectly tempered jacket of dark chocolate surrounds a fat California almond, toasted with a modest suggestion of salted caramel that lingers at the finish. This is a mature, nuanced take on the chocolate-covered-nut genre of candy, which I, as a nuanced, mature human, truly appreciate. It was a challenge to stop at two pieces, probably due to my unceasing affinity for fine chocolates and fat California nuts in my mouth. Oh, and also my love of cannabis. And these edibles certainly contain a thoughtful balance of cannabinoids. A scant 0.6mg of THC per piece might not seem like enough to fuel a proper lift off, but in concert with the 6mg of CBD and the suggested two-piece serving size, it’s more than adequately uplifting.
The onset was as smooth as the chocolate itself. An all-encompassing warmth of well-being crept into my consciousness and a sweetly focused creative boost swelled from my heart and my head. My body revelled in a soothing buzz that made slouching over my project for hours on end physically bearable. This was, for me, an exceptional edible for breaking through artistic roadblocks, finding new inspiration, and retaining the focus and clarity to see a project through from inception to completion. Even after my body began to revolt against my concentrated posture, my mind remained focused and intent. The crystalline clarity that made hours feel like minutes, pages feel like paragraphs, and colors feel brighter than average, dictated to my body that the work was not yet done so we would gleefully persist.
While the high was massively satisfying, I’m still reluctant to call it a “high.” I don't want to imply that this edible will satisfy the desire to get couch-lock stoned or space out on a video game or replace booze as an intoxicant. The THC is set dressing; it lifts the experience but it’s kind of like a non-playing character—critical to the experience but by no means the focus.
“Normally I would be cursing to heaven at every messy merger on the road.”
On day two of testing Satori’s CBD-rich almonds, I ate them with no grand creative notions, no project looming on the horizon, and nothing constructive to do with my day. I ran a few errands, bustled around the house a bit, and settled into an evening of hanging out with my family—an essentially quiet day. The onset arrived with no fanfare, so subtle that it slipped completely under my radar. When driving in heavy traffic, it finally occurred to me that normally I would be cursing to heaven at every messy merger on the road. Instead, I was placid, bopping along to a lo-fi playlist, counting my blessings, and enjoying the view from a gridlocked freeway bridge.
“Oh snap,” I thought out loud. “I’m chill as hell. I guess that chocolate kicked in.”
Day two’s effects were far less apparent without something tangible to occupy myself with, but just because I wasn’t actively engaging my left and right brain in some type of symphony of inspiration doesn't mean the effects were insignificant. Nothing phased me all day. And, real talk, everything phases me every day. My chill facade is just that, a facade. But Satori made the public facade unnecessary. I was super easygoing regardless of my circumstances. The bottom line is that these did not get me high in the modern colloquial sense, but they absolutely elevated my creative function, focus, and tolerance for the daily fuckery of existing in reality. Which, I suppose, is just another way of defining “high.”