“I ultimately decided to just splay out on my yoga mat with the lights off and pretend I was tilling the maze garden of a rural castle in feudal Japan.”

The onset came on like a ninja in the night. One second you’re watering your one remaining aloe plant and the next you feel like you’ve somehow been snuck up upon by a secretive Samurai clan. As is the custom amongst this elusive warrior tribe, I’d be nursed back to health using botanicals mixed together by the daughter of the village elder. (The translation here is that it took me a good minute or two to get my bearings once I felt the full brunt of this Protab take hold. My wife then suggested I lay on the sofa and watch some Frasier reruns.) I ultimately decided to just splay out on my yoga mat with the lights off and pretend I was tilling the maze garden of a rural castle in feudal Japan. Clearly, this high had turned my night into a fanciful choose-your-own-adventure story. I would just close my eyelids and be totally transported.

The tablet took no more than twenty minutes to kick in. Every time I thought I’d reached peak high-ness my brain told me to stand by for more. Sure enough, this buzz would tick its way even higher like a rollercoaster cart reaching its zenith. The dramatic plunge had been replaced with a lazy river ride through the hallways of my mind. A penetrating and insightful experience that can be heaven-sent for the anxious or sleep-deprived.

I felt like I was under the influence of a veteran tour guide. Like I was constantly being visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, but instead of colonial garb and chains, they were all wearing saris and presenting snapshots of your life like Vanna White turning letters. Essentially, I was taking the time to drop in on my own life and become a passive spectator for a change. Granted, this state is not conducive to tackling work, running errands, or competing in any memory challenges. This is a potent and potentially profound high that seems to trigger parts of your consciousness that are seldom sparked. It just won’t jive well with the mundane facets of everyday grown-up stuff.

In addition to the 25mg of THC, each indica tablet also contains Delta 9 Tetrahydrocannabinols. They’re also flavorless, and it’s recommended that you swallow ‘em with a glass of water. It made for a unique high that, while potent, could also be fun when you surrender yourself to it. This will work best for those stressed to the gills and just seeking an escape. The same goes for pain sufferers and those who have a hard time falling asleep.

“This is a potent and potentially profound high that seems to trigger parts of your consciousness that are seldom sparked.”

The ride goes like this: Chilling hard, euphoric awe, chilling hard, euphoric awe, and then SLEEP. It’s like one moment you’re fantasizing about being this totally mellow person who probably has a cool surfer’s cottage by the beach and wears denim jeans to play volleyball and listens to Gerry Rafferty while making the most effortlessly delicious guacamole, and before you can untangle your Top Gun fanfiction, you’re totally asleep. Like an Acme anvil falling on your head type of asleep.

This Protab gets you high in the sense that it lifts so many mental barriers that you realize you’ve been high the whole time, and that what you’re really experiencing is awareness. That awareness should not be mistaken for alertness though. This is a deliberate and plodding high designed to unwind you and ultimately knock you out as if you’re on your way to visit the Batcave.